I was going down but I was doing it with you
2025-02-21 permalink
I read through some of my old posts from last year. I wrote a lot about being burnt out. I read and I thought, “Gaaaah, rest bitch!!”. So I decided that I will now be a frivolous woman who reads books and goes to parties.
Currently, I am reading Water Moon by Samantha Sotto Yambao. It’s kinda silly but really cute and whimsical. I would recommend it to anyone who likes Studio Ghibli or the unpredictability of the spirit world in Avatar: The Last Airbender.
And this is me at a party last week:
It was my friend Sica’s birthday party HAPPY BIRTHDAY SICA!!!!
We played a weird game called Tokyo Highway.
It did actually start to look kind of like Tokyo after a while, haha.
I was really excited to see physical newspapers thrown on people’s driveways. For some reason it had not occurred to me that that’s still a thing.
What else?
I have spent a significant amount of time crying over all the national park workers that have been fired. I always meant for this blog to just be a little thing I did for fun and creativity, and never had the intention nor the desire to write about politics. But some things just cut too deep. There are very few things in this world I love as much as the US national parks. And once they’re gone, they’re gone. Fragile ecosystems that would take hundreds of years to recover. This all feels like a cruel joke.
I’ve been thinking a lot about elementary school lately. Before I was overworked and fragile, before I even knew what national parks were, or had ever had to care about politics. I played video games at my friend’s house. I read Eragon, Harry Potter, Dragonkeeper… Wrote stories about a tomato named Tomato. Spent recess on the swings. It was simple. It was fun. I was strong, I was healthy.
What the fuck happened?
How did that happy kid end up this worn out and fragile? How did the world become this dark and scary since then?
Zelda. Dead or Alive. Super Smash Bros. Potter Puppet Pals. That weird internet game where you drew lines a guy went down on a sled. A swing that was actually a dragon named Everest. The package of butter that was a dragon egg hahahah omg.
I did my favorite trail in LA earlier this week. I’ve mentioned it before. Fryman Canyon trail in Wilacre Park. There isn’t really anything that special about it. It’s easy. The views are alright. There’s always a bunch of fit people there working out. I just like it. It’s simple. It’s ordinary.
It got chilly as it got darker outside.
I went to Malibu Creek State Park yesterday. There was barely anyone else there. The wind was soft and kind. It was so peaceful. I did the Malibu Lake trail, but turned back before I reached the lake, cause I was starting to feel uneasy about being all alone in the wild with no one else around. There were lots of little side trails to explore on the way back.
I sat on a rock. No cell signal. I heard the stream babbling, frogs croaking. I saw the birds in the sky, the sun against the rocks. A child was playing on the bank of the creek. I was there by myself. No one was nagging me that they wanted to leave. It was nice. It was so nice.
I found some plastic garbage someone had left behind. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. A tiny thing, but at least I did one thing.
