A little bit tired of trying to care when I don’t
2025-08-12 permalink
I’ve been something of a recluse as of recent. I’ve barely gone outside in, what, three weeks now? My trip to Sequoia and Kings Canyon involved a lot of pretty intense hiking, so I was tired afterwards. I slept like a bobcat coming back to her den after fighting for her life in a storm for days. Then I got sick a little over a week ago so I’ve been recovering from that.
Something I have been doing a lot of is reading. I’ve read a whole bunch of books since January. I’ll share the two I have liked the most out of all of them.
The first one is My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh. It’s pretty talked about so you’ve likely heard of it. It’s about a lady whose wealthy parents recently died and she’s sick of life so she decides to take a bunch of pills to essentially sleep for an entire year. It seemed fitting to read now, since I’m currently taking time off for rest and relaxation myself. I read the whole book in one night and then immediately started rereading it the very next day.
First of all, the book is very absurdist and absolutely hilarious. I don’t think I’ve read another book that’s made me laugh out loud as much. I loved the sheer ridiculousness. The absurdity of the dialogue, especially between the main character and her psychiatrist, is top tier.
Second of all, I actually found the main character extremely relatable. I’m not a rich wasp who ostensibly looks like a super model without trying, and hopefully I’m less of a bitch to the people in my life. But I think there’s something really relatable about wanting to tap out for a while and not care about what goes on in the world. I also relate to her being fed up with the pretentious nonsense that goes on in the art world, her field of profession. After spending way too much time in academia for my own good, I’m intimately familiar with that feeling of a piece being “all nonsense of course”.
The second book I absolutely loved is Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson. It is the second book in The Stormlight Archive. It is an extremely in depth epic fantasy series that revolves around themes of what it is to be honorable and what it means to do the right thing, with some very sexy handsome knights in shining armor and insane character arcs. I did love the first book in the series, but it had some serious pacing issues and moved extremely slowly for a large part of the book. The second book, however, had none of those issues.
Boy let me tell you I’ve been searching for a book that would make me feel this much. I remember being 12, waking up early to watch the new episodes of Avatar the Last Airbender every Saturday and Sunday morning at 9. As soon as an episode was over, I would throw myself on the phone to call my friend to discuss the episode. I don’t know if I’ve ever been as immersed in a story since then, until now. I dream of Shallan and Kaladin at night. Instead of cursing, my inner voice goes “Storms!” and “Almighty above”.
I loved it. What else is there to say?
I’ve also been searching hard for new music to listen to. I haven’t had much luck in finding new artists lmao, so I eventually ended up going back to a bunch of artists I’ve liked in the past but haven’t listened to in a while.
I used to listen to Jimi Hendrix a lot around middle school, so that’s one artist I’ve been rediscovering. I’m not someone who knows a lot about music, so when someone says an artist is a genius or an album is a masterpiece I’ll take their word for it, cause I usually can’t tell. Whenever I listen Jimi Hendrix’s instrumentals though, I can hear loud and clearly that this is special and a big deal.
I was a huge fan of The Pretty Reckless around high school, and they’ve had a lot of new releases since then I’ve been catching up on, I’m obseeessed with the guitar riff in this song:
I did discover that I’ve been sleeping on Bella Poarch, though. I looove her EP, Dolls. The songs combined with the music videos create a highly entertaining story arc. I love how the vibe is similar to that movie, Sucker Punch. Also reading her personal stories behind each song was heartbreaking, as well as adding more depth to the listening experience.
